stuff
i ended up going to atlanta and then alabama for thanksgiving break, which was a plan that i only made about a week ago. i had fully expected to spend another year sitting around bloomington, enjoying the break, going to the big church potluck dinner that makes me smile and exposes me to things made of rutabaga and persimmon that are not a part of my traditional holiday fare, and catching up on work. these things have almost become new traditions themselves over the past few years, but this year as i thought about it i had to admit some kind of nostalgic twinge for a lazy afternoon full of leftovers and football, the weight of tradition in the air. i speculated that i might be just as happy spending the day with someone Else’s family, that it might just be people who know each other, lots of food, and the presence of children that i was missing, especially because my own family is scattered about now and so it’s not like there was a dinner that i was missing somewhere. it’s not like my cousin heather was putting olives on her fingers without me and gazing at an empty chair. i thought about talking with friends around town and offering to bring pumpkin pie.
instead, however, my mom and i made this plan to drive south, and i ended up with something that, from the outside, looked very like what i had pictured – food, football, children clamoring underfoot. the weight of tradition was definitely there, but it turned out that i didn’t quite know how to react. i realized that i had two pictures of thanksgiving in my head – a day with family that i had known for years, or a day with friends that i had not. i would either be inside a circle of tradition, or happy for the chance to play the welcome outsider. instead, i spent the day with family that i had rarely or never met, glimpsing circles of traditions that i Could belong to, but don’t, seeing traces of my mother’s childhood, but not of my own.
in the end, i think it was good, but it was a little weird, and i don’t really know what else to say about it.
i got the chance to see my great aunt jean, which was the main reason we drove down, and that was good. i also saw my grandmother, and one of the babies i had never met (my 2nd cousin, once removed, i believe… woohoo! look at me be geneaology guru!) had a grin that could truly break your heart.
the drive only took 8 hours, and i felt bad for not making it before now.
i also acquired something that may or may not be the flu, and so most of today has been spent either grappling with fever or consuming orange juice. i’m hoping it will be considerate and resolve itself by tomorrow, because i have a pervasive computing project that is not as far along as prudence dictates that it should be… but we’ll just have to see.
on the way back from atlanta i had a really great talk with my mom about my capstone and why i love hci, and i should write about it. i feel like i’m getting close to the point where i will really be able to articulate why i’m doing what i’m doing, and that’s simultaneously exciting and scary as fuck. my main mission for the weekend has been to revise my resume and convert it to a CV, and i’m about done, but the fever distracted me more than i had hoped. i hereby pledge to write more about all of this later, but right now i’m going to get more orange juice, and then check back to planet info to see if my head has been jarred.
November 28th, 2005 at 11:44 pm
Vast improvement on the head-jar.
November 29th, 2005 at 10:50 am
The funny thing about comments from “Guest” or “Anonymous” is that my brain starts to think of them as all from the same person. “That silly Guest,” I say, “always with the short, sardonic commentary.” With this one, I even think you’re the same person who commented on Erik’s blog about the head jars. It’s a lot like the way I’ve heard some kids start to think that “Anonymous” was some really smart, clever person because so many sayings are credited to the name.
I realize this is irrational, but then I think, when it comes to most blogs, is it really? I think more “Guest” comments are made by semi-regular readers who just prefer to remain unidentified than by people who just happen to be passing through. So really, it’s not that crazy to think of “Guest” as one person. He/she just might say some uncharacteristic things from time to time, as if someone else is speaking for him/her… but who among us doesn’t have those days? ;)
Now, I’m not trying to discourage truly anonymous comments by saying this stuff. I enjoy discussion, and I encourage the four of you who read this to speak your minds. If you feel the need to do so anonymously, I won’t stop you (unless you say something mean, or pornographic, or try to sell me a gold mine in Nigeria… then I will probably not let your post through), but since this is my blog, I feel entitled, and somewhat obligated, to just say on the record that I don’t really get it. The last guy who posted a comment as “Guest” put an email address that I recognize from a list at church. That made me scratch my head a bit… do I know this person or not? What is he trying to hide? And this time, if I don’t really know you, why do you choose to comment in such a way as to indicate that you read planet info regularly enough that you noticed when my head changed? Doesn’t that feel a wee bit creepy? And if I do know you, why the facade?
Again, not intending to go too far with the tirade here. You(pl) are entitled to your reasons, just as I am entitled to my mystification about them. Maybe you are just shy, maybe you’re afraid that I’m going to try to sell you a gold mine in Nigeria, maybe you’re Justin or Richie and you’re enjoying some kind of PhD overlord trip. Whatever. This is the place where I try to bare a bit more of my soul, not yours, so do as ye will and I will not perturb thee further.
But as a part of that baring of the soul I’ll just tell you that I find it a bit odd, and so if somehow some future “Guest” is reading this, and you find yourself wondering whether to put yourself on the record, I encourage you to weigh this along with your other reasons, and consider just putting your name. You don’t have to put your real email address (though I encourage that as well… I won’t sell you a gold mine (or diamonds, or viagra)). I don’t bite. We might just make friends.
November 30th, 2005 at 12:27 am
It wasn’t me.
November 30th, 2005 at 1:34 am
oh, you’re just trying to get on my good side with humor and wit. maybe someone else is even telling you what to say, like cyrano de bergerac…
in that case, he’s on my good side, but i know the truth about you, Guest!
;)
November 30th, 2005 at 6:18 pm
Oops, sorry. Didn’t intend to sound ‘creepy’… or sardonic. But seriously, the old jar looked like it had a shrunken voodoo head in it. Okay, I’ll dissolve forever back into the ether now. Glad you’re feeling better.