commitment
the whole reason to deny rituals and acknowledgement to those on the margins is to keep them marginalized.
denying those same things from ourselves and our friends in the name of solidarity is playing into that game and accepting disempowerment.
i do not believe in keeping people i love from things that renew and inspire them.
August 2nd, 2007 at 3:49 pm
I don’t know, it also increases visibility. Brad and Angelina are probably making an impact in their refusal to marry, non?
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:22 pm
oui, and that’s definitely a legitimate choice. i’m not saying it never makes sense as an approach; i’m just saying it’s a personal decision and i think we probably gain more by letting it remain so. as long as the decision is made intentionally, my bet is we all gain more from people who are able to build structures of commitment in their lives that support them and free their energy for other things. if, at an individual level, we feel like we can do that outside of marriage or employment or any other contract, so be it, but it’s case by case. i’m thinking brangelina won’t be hurting much in the benefits department as a result of their statement. the main realization that struck me enough to post this was the idea that we’re actually playing into the hands of oppression by agreeing to self-marginalize. i think that’s worth pondering.
fwiw, this was meant to be a much longer post, but it’s good reinforcement of my new approach to field comments even on outlines. :)